Happy Valentine's Day you crazy lovers. A song from Hamburg.


Søren Kierkegaard stole Regine Olsen's heart and then broke it. He seemed unable to imagine being a committed husband and also a committed writer, passionate Christian, and active philosopher. He thought that marriage would stand in the way of his ability to know himself. Kierkegaard's genius is widely known and unexaggerated, but in this regard he was blinded. Love is a great and terrible mirror. My love brings me closer to God and closer to the devil every day. Without her, I may have never known myself. I go to her and she tells me who I am. It is not like reading it in a book. It is like raising the blinds on the morning. It's all there. She simply says, "Look, you fool."

While many philosophers believe that we cannot prove the existence of other people, I believe now that other people are the only proof that I exist. The love of my life is my greatest proof that I am a worthy soul, created by God. How else could this incredible being love me?

I understand Kierkegaard. Any driven person can understand the reluctance to commit to a lifetime of maddening spiritual confusion and ecstasy. I have things to do. I am across the ocean on Valentine's Day. Love is inconvenient.

Look, you fool.

This song is for Kierkegaard, Regine, myself, and my love. Happy Valentine's Day, you crazy lovers. Don't give up.


I Don't Understand Myself

I hang my hat on her door. She whispers like a war. She doesn't have to win me. I'm helpless in her eyes. Old lovers write her letters and speak as if they know her. She sees what they don't show her and finds me where I hide.

But I don't understand myself with her I don't understand myself.

In the bedroom and the kitchen she calls me her magician. It's a difficult position and I'm trying to make it last. She keeps me in the present. It's a gift she gives me daily. My heart waits in the future until her moods are past.

But I don't understand myself with her I don't understand myself.

The yellowhammer glistens. Far away, she listens. The world is filled with music. The queen dances with her fool. She gathers sand together. Her castles last forever. Even rust finds favor in her golden rule.

But I don't understand myself with her I don't understand myself.

The river sits in silence. The preacher studies science. The children all baptize him back into the world. The rain falls like her long hair. The day is dark and wanting. I know she's like the weather, unable to be held.

But I don't understand myself with her I don't understand myself.

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